07/04/2002 - 9:45 pm

It's funny how the theoretical can be so...acceptable, while the reality can STILL hurt.

My friend says it's okay that it still hurts. And I respond that it is no longer about that last serious ex who instigated my destruction - that it hasn't been about him for a long time. In Chaucer's time, in the ideals of courtly romance upon which our notion of the romantic is founded, love was an individual pursuit and had little to do with the beloved. It is evident to me that my pain and my love - my emotions - are my individual pursuit. Some of my daydreams spring from fancy, some from love, some from jealousy, some from bitterness. If everyone has a light in them, perhaps everyone has darkness within them as well. But hopefully in my quest to untangle my emotions I can forge myself so that it is only the light in me which affects my world and the world of those I touch.

Completely Unrelated: I may or may not be able to update the next 10 days - I have a short term counselor job and I don't know if I'll have internet access.

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